To remember Mum on her birthday, I am sharing these very personal words, which I wrote for, and read out at her funeral last month. (I have removed names for privacy).
There is only a 3% chance of both parents developing dementia.
Some people might say that my sister and I have been unlucky. Those people didn’t know our Mum and Dad. They were the best parents anyone could ever wish for. We have been blessed indeed.
Our Mum was a role model to my sister and me and to her 3 granddaughters, of how a wife, mother and homemaker should be.
There’s a description of our Mum in the Bible in Galatians chapter 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Furthermore, our Mum didn’t hold any bias or prejudice against anyone. She accepted everyone just the way they are. Even if there was something that she didn’t really agree with, she would just say, “we’re all different.”
Her family was our Mum’s whole world. In January 2024 having been diagnosed with cancer, Mum was given just months to live. But the [Smith] stubbornness kept her alive for another year and a half. During that time, she met her great-grandson and enjoyed numerous visits from family and going out for lunch. During my last visit, although dementia had made her forget who I was, she still said, “my nephew [John Smith].”
And it wasn’t just blood relatives who were loved by our Mum. After my husband’s Mum died in 2003, our Mum became his Mum too.
At the end of our final phone call, just a few days before she died, she said, “Love you too sweetheart.”
Our Mum was a quiet lady who didn’t like a fuss. That is how she lived and that is how she died.
I have a little orchid plant on my kitchen windowsill. An orchid has beautiful flowers which stay in bloom for a long time. When the flower has finished, it loses its colour, shrinks a little bit, then quietly falls off the stem.
This was our Mum.
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